We all grow older, but we don't all grow up!!

Dr Gordon Neufeld states, "Children must feel an invitation to exist in our presence, exactly the way they are". The child doesn't have to do anything, or be anyone, to win that love. Love cannot be earned. It simply exists because they exist.

Not meaning to sound like Oprah or a self righteous Moron, but if we don't share our knowledge learnt through our own F*CK UPS, well, we aren't passing the kindness on, are we!!! Kindness is paying it forward, so from a childhood abuse survivor who had messed up and learnt a little.....Here you go. Enjoy.

Encouraging someone to be entirely themselves is the loudest way to love them. I absolutely adore this quote by the artist kalen Dion.

As parents, we naturally love our children deeply, yet sometimes we unintentionally communicate to them that our love has conditions. Listen, i'm the first to put my hand up and say i did this before i knew no better. This often happens through our expectations, behaviors, or simply by not fully recognizing and accepting who our children truly are and what they genuinely need.

Loving our children unconditionally means embracing and supporting them exactly as they are—even when things get messy or challenging. Children aren't meant to meet all our expectations perfectly; they're here to express their unique selves, complete with all their feelings and behaviors.

When our love or approval feels conditional—based on certain behaviors or achievements—our children might mistakenly believe that they need to earn our love. But real love isn't something that's earned. It's freely given, and children flourish when they feel this kind of genuine acceptance and love from us.

Dr. Gordon Neufeld, a respected expert in child development, emphasizes that children build true emotional security when their parents are consistently attuned to their emotional needs. Attuned parenting means observing our children's feelings, genuinely understanding them, and responding with empathy. This is something i struggled with mate! Remember, we physiologically cannot feel in others what we wont feel in ourselves. So if you supress.....I'm sorry to say, you may struggle to FEEL what your child is feeling in terms of meeting emotional needs.

According to Neufeld, a secure attachment formed through this attunement provides the emotional safety children need to confidently navigate their world.

It's crucial to remember that even though we, as adults, know we love our children, what truly matters is how our children experience and feel that love through our actions and responses. Children don't develop rational or logical thinking about relationships until around age seven. Before then, their understanding of the world is very straightforward: either they feel loved or they don't, based entirely on their daily interactions with us.

Showing unconditional love means consistently validating our children's emotions and staying connected even during difficult moments. When a child is upset or frustrated, responding calmly with empathy and support reassures them that they are safe and loved.

Regularly communicating to our children that our love has no conditions helps build their emotional security. Letting them know, especially in challenging moments, that our love remains steady and unwavering, supports their emotional well-being and sense of self-worth.

Practicing unconditional love doesn't mean we'll always get it perfect—we're human, after all—but every small effort we make toward showing genuine, unconditional love significantly impacts our children's development and emotional health.

Love and light

Chanel Duffy